Thursday, August 11, 2016

It's Just Another Manic...Thursday?

Today, while I was at the gas station putting gas into my car, Manic Monday by The Bangles was playing on the overhead PA system. Of course, I started singing along...quietly so I wouldn't disturb the peace. As I did, the following (mostly random) thoughts went through my mind:

1. It seemed strangely out of place to hear the song on a weekday that wasn't Monday.
2. This irony felt completely appropriate giving the manic spree 2016 has felt like (so far).
3. No. My 2016 has been more than manic, it's been downright bipolar. One day the universe is relentless and seems determined to do me in; the next the world couldn't be kinder.
4. Speaking of kinder...this is something I aspire to be. I used to be a much nicer person. I could blame the events of this year (so far): my sweet dog died, I was in a hit and run car accident, Edward lost his father, life has been one major battlefield forcing me to fight for myself like never before...but on the other side of this unhappy rainbow such amazing things have happened for me both personally and professionally that I feel guilty anytime I'm anything less than grateful.

5. I need to be more grateful. Even for the little things. What three things am I most grateful for?
6. I need to be in the moment more. Enjoy every second. If life has taught me anything, it's that happiness can be fleeting. Know it and recognize it and appreciate it when you feel it.
7. I'm really pissed off that my dog died.
8. I don't love certain things in my life as much as I used to. Or certain people.
9. I need to make some changes. Big, major ones. Serious ones. Okay, then. What's first?
10. The first time I ever cut school was when I was a sophomore at Berkeley High School and I did so to meet The Bangles at Tower Records on Durant Avenue. They gave hugs and handshakes and were just as beautiful as I knew they would be. They autographed a concert flyer for me. That night, I left it on the kitchen table. My step-mother (at the time) threw it away because she thought it was trash. None of my photos turned out on my Kodak Instamatic because the world hated me then and still...
11.  I've met a lot of famous people in my lifetime. Most of them I didn't like. But The Bangles were cool.
12. There are other songs by The Bangles that I like a lot more than Manic Monday. For example, their cover version of Hazy Shade of Winter is one of their best songs ever - if not the best. I've loved that song ever since I saw Less Than Zero when I was seventeen. Less than? More than? Is that what life is all about? One constant state of measuring?

The moral of all of this?

A lot can happen when you're at the gas station.
My mind is a crazy place to be.
Every day can be manic if we let it.
The Bangles are a bad ass band.
2016 needs to get itself together and be a lot nicer to me.

I'll let you decide, gentle blog reader.

While you do, there's this...

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