Monday, September 3, 2012

No Birthday Blues Here

For the past month or so, I've felt an immense wave of gratitude each morning when I wake up. The very second I open my eyes, I'm thankful for another day. While I'm the first to admit how blessed I am, it's usually not my waking thought. I'm not sure where the constant gratitude is coming from, but it's there and it won't go away. Maybe it's because this year has been tough and challenging (in so many ways) or because I've lost more people than I care to count in a short amount of time that I'm happy to just see another morning. Or maybe because I'm old enough now to recognize the importance and the value of every second.

Six days a week I'm up at 5:00 a.m. Sometimes earlier. It's the only time my non-stop schedule allows for writing. Typically, I write for four or five hours. Just me. And words. And the unraveling lives of my characters. Or constant ducking from relentless poems that won't leave me alone until they are written. It's lonely work, but fulfilling beyond measure.

It also gives me time to reflect, to strategize, to dream. I look back to where I've come from to gain the direction I need to get to where I want to go, where I'm supposed to be. I reevaluate goals. I make new ones. I listen to music. I get inspired. I create new literary landscapes to populate with the lovelorn and the hopeful. I rediscover my passion for writing on a daily basis.

Writing has changed my life. It's provided me with opportunities and experiences I would never have had otherwise. It's allowed me to share my voice, tell my stories, connect with people - some living on the other side of the world in cities and places I've never heard of. I realize it is a gift and I always treat it as such - never once taking it for granted.

Today I turn 42. There were many, many moments in my life where I never thought I'd live this long. Perhaps that is the source of gratitude - surviving in this world, beating the odds, overcoming. The next year of my life already promises to be the best part of my journey yet. Projects are coming to fruition. My words will continue to be published. Novels are being written. Plays are being staged. Poems are not being shy. Movies are getting made. New opportunities keep presenting themselves by the hour. Dreams continue to come true at breakneck speed. New York now beckons where a new life begins for me in December. Everything is changing. I feel the shift constantly, onward and upward. I'm living in a permanent state of anticipation I can only compare to Christmas Eve. I never know what tomorrow is going to bring, I'm just thankful for each one of them.

I'm happy to be here.

1 comment:

  1. Hi David-Matthew Barnes!
    Loved reading this post at your (uplifting!) blog.
    This post is a potent reminder for the rest of us, to continue to be grateful. If we're lucky, we'll manage to do that, and if we're luckier still, we'll be able to do so, as YOU do....with beauty and grace.
    Looking forward to "Made From Scratch". Peace to you, Director. :)


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